I was out of my mind
The most strangest thing happened to me the other day. I am still having a hard time processing it.
I blacked out. I had no recollection of the moments that I was out of it. Apparently it was for a good amount of time--maybe some hours. Fortunately, I had someone at my home who was able to witness my delirium and ultimately get me help.
My roommate came in and was like "you are not doing well". I was unable to understand what he was saying for like an hour. He would tell me that I had soiled myself and blacked out. I was literally sitting in the bathroom confused and dazed. He was like, "we need to get to the hospital." I could not understand why. I said, " I just want to lay here and relax." It was kind of funny, he said, "Now Shawn, I love you. God knows I do. But you're getting your ass up and we going to the hospital." That's what we did. It was a good thing we did. Thats when they found out I had pneumonia and that it was out of control. The pneumonia, the blood pressure, and the diarrhea all came together to make for a sick Shawn Maldon.
When I got to the hospital, I realized that I was out of my mind. Literally, I had some mental psychosis going on. I did not process things, react to things, or speak a I normally would. My feelings were different and my thinking was hijacked. It was bad. I was scared. I was in a mental comma. At one point, I remember telling the nurse, "You are nice." That on the outside doesn't seem bad. It is a nice compliment, but the problem is its not customary for me to make such a compliment and it was not appropriate. It was weird. The nurse did not respond, so I said it again, "You are nice." Further, I could not speak certain things. It was in my head, on the tip of my tongue, but I was paralyzed when I would try to get it out. Yet still in other cases, I lost track of my thoughts in mid speech and couldn't recall simple words like "the, it, how" I was losing it. I never went completely insane though THANK GOD. I know this because I would tell my friends that I am not thinking clearly and that my mind is off a little. So I knew enough to know I was not functioning at 100% Shawn Maldon level.
I am restored. My faculties are completely back and that's no longer a problem. It gives me great compassion for those who deal with mental illness. It is not a joke and we need to be there for them to help them as much as we can. I know that when I was having a difficult time, I told my sister and a good friend of mine Kimberly, how to talk to me. I told them to make sure they encourage me and talk to me in such a way that help to bring me back. I asked them to say uplifting things and to remind me of who I am. They obliged and it helped.
(Shawn's skin crusty)
One of the most disgusting experiences all of this has caused has been the crustiness of my skin. Literally, my skin has been forming a hard, solid hard, layer of crust all over my body. To think about it makes my skin crawl. It has been very drastic and covered my face. This picture is VERY PG13. The more severe picture (in my phone) is not fair for me to show. But lets just say, you would have to add about 20 times more crust all over. my face even covering my eyes. It was hard to see. This crust is not like sleep where its easy to remove, its more like paint or something that doesn't come off easily. Paint is smooth though and this stuff was bumpy and crackling. It was disgusting. I am grateful that they were able to treat me and give me something to help alleviate it a lot. It's still there, but it has gotten a lot better. Apparently, phosphorus when its out of control in your body, it can cause this type of reaction in addition to me being allergic to Valsartan a type of BP medicine they now have to keep far away from me.